Recently, I was driving to work, minding my own business, and a semi-truck unexpectedly pulled into my lane.  With about 5 feet between the front of my car and the rear of the trailer, my view of everything ahead was blocked.  I had an awesome view of that trailer but other things like upcoming traffic signals and other cars were totally blocked.  Because I drive this route daily, I knew that we were very close to an intersection and all I could see was this huge trailer.  With almost no thought, I took my foot off the gas pedal, checked my rearview mirror, and glanced to my right to see if I could change lanes.  

My reaction to the truck is a no-brainer now. However, that wasn’t always my reaction. I can remember times shortly after I started driving that my reaction was to get as close to the back of the truck as I could and hope that we both made it through the intersection without getting hit.  During those early years of driving, I thought getting close to the truck and hoping for the best was the way to go.

Fortunately, through experience and training and seeing how others reacted, I’ve learned a much better way to handle this type of situation.

Life is a lot like that drive to work.  One minute you’re cruising along minding your own business and the next minute a semi-truck is in your lane.  Many times, my reaction has been to get as close to whatever the problem was and simply hope for the best.  Again, through experience and training and seeing how others have reacted to life’s problems, I’ve learned a much better way to address them when they come up. 

Know that trouble and problems will come your way.  Call it “defensive driving” for life. 

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 
John 16:33

This doesn’t mean walking around just waiting for the next hammer to fall.  It means to live confidently knowing that no matter what happens, God is in control!

Know the rules of the road. 

Arm yourself with biblical truth (scriptures) that will produce calm, confident responses to all situations.  There are many verses that give comfort and direction when we face a trial.  Here are some verses that we can use as prayers during the situation: 

“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” 
Isaiah 41:13 (NIV)

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

“And call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.”
Psalm 50:15 (NIV)

Take your foot off the gas pedal. 

Intentionally slow down and try to create space between you and the situation.  This slow down gives you time to seek God’s will regarding how He wants you to address the issue. Many times, this change of perspective will bring possible solutions into view. 

“But those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Isaiah 40:31 (NIV)

Look all around for a way out. 

Whether it’s backward, to the side, or straight through, God will provide a way for any situation. 

“We all experience times of testing, which is normal for every human being. But God will be faithful to you. He will screen and filter the severity, nature, and timing of every test or trial you face so that you can bear it. And each test is an opportunity to trust him more, for along with every trial God has provided for you a way of escape that will bring you out of it victoriously.”
1 Corinthians 10:13 (TPT)  

This verse doesn’t mean we can’t or won’t be knocked down.  It doesn’t mean we can’t or won’t be hurt.  It means that God can and will help us up.  He can and will heal us.  Lastly, what seems like utter failure in my life can be used by God to bring about a victory in someone else’s situation.

Learn from experiences, both your own and the experiences of others.

Life is an ongoing lesson and we should never stop learning. When I started driving, I felt that the best reaction to that semi in my lane was to get as close to it as possible and hope for the best. I know now that was far from a good plan. By the grace of God, I learned a better way gradually instead of having an accident.  The most eye-opening moment I can recall was being in the car with someone else driving who reacted in a much more appropriate manner.  When we keep ourselves surrounded in Biblical community, we get to see how our brothers and sisters in Christ face life’s up and downs. It gives us the chance to teach and learn from each other. 

“In the human body there are many parts and organs, each with a unique function.  And so it is in the body of Christ.  For though we are many, we’ve all been mingled into one body in Christ.  This means that we are all vitally joined to one another, with each contributing to the others.”  Romans 12:4-5 TPT

One of the most amazing things about this formula of being as prepared as possible, being grounded in the Word, slowing down to seek God’s direction and will, recognizing and utilizing the solution He will provide, and remaining in community is that it works in all situations. Good or bad, big or small, it works. If we do our part, God will do His part. The catch here is that, like all skills, this takes practice. If we think of and use this formula as a failsafe, we are missing out. If we continuously apply this formula to our lives as our “Plan A” it becomes a lifestyle.

If I apply the driving analogy to my life to determine growth, I’ve come a long way. I started out with flawed, panicked, sometimes dangerous reactions to life’s unexpected twists and turns. Now, my reaction is much more controlled….by Him. I’m learning to follow the formula. Eventually, as I drive through this life, I’ll be constantly scanning front to back, top to bottom. Always, looking for what life brings, big or small good or bad.  Always seeking and applying God’s will to what life offers.  Always fully engaged in Biblical community, leaning on and supporting my brothers and sisters.  And I won’t even be distracted by the radio.

My driving is better than it used to be, but I want it to keep getting better.

How’s your driving?

“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.”
Jeremiah‬ ‭17:7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Is it just me or does it seem like the most brutal questions you’ll ask yourself start popping up about 0.5 seconds before you fall asleep?

As someone who has struggled with confidence and has confronted serious moments of self-doubt, I’m bombarded with the brutal questions fairly often. “Am I good enough? How could I mess that situation up today? How can they really love me? What if this life just goes away?” The two verses immediately before the verse above in Jeremiah mention what we sign up for when we rely too much on ourselves and put all of our trust there. 

“This is what the Lord says: “Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the Lord. They are like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future. They will live in the barren wilderness, in an uninhabited salty land.”
Jeremiah‬ ‭17:5-6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

A few nights ago, I was drifting to sleep and the word “confidence” popped into my head. So, I started praying to God about confidence before the questions could start showing up. Following that up with a swift Google search for scriptures on confidence, I found myself studying these verses as God started speaking to me.

He showed me that if our confidence is misplaced, our potential is stunted. And worse than that, when we put our trust in the wrong thing, we set ourselves up to live in a place of death. You see, confidence issues don’t always present themselves the way you expect them to. They can manifest in your thinking too little of yourself or even thinking too much of yourself. 

Whether it’s self-loathing or self-importance, self-degradation or self-inflation, it’s all self, really. If you don’t think you’re good enough or you think you’re too good for something, it’s all based on what you think. It’s putting your word over the Lord’s. 

Can I share one of the most freeing truths in the world if we could just grasp it? What we think about ourselves pales not only in comparison but also in importance to what God thinks and says about us! 

What God showed me is actually what confidence is centered around. Look at the word:  C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-C-E.

The middle two letters are ID: your identity. It’s not our confidence that the enemy calls in to question, but our identity. If we base our identity on our own definitions of success or happiness, it can destroy us. And it’s not just based on who we are, but also in what we do. I’m a drummer. If I base my identity and therefore confidence in my ability as a drummer, what happens when someone better comes along? That one stings because I’ve lived it. I’ve put all of my eggs into a basket that just got tipped over. Or, what if someone is a better speaker than you? Or what if someone has this seemingly natural gift to attract friends? Or what if you’ve been serving your heart out for years on the same serve team or at work and someone comes in for what feels like 3 weeks and is thrusted into leadership?

An identity and confidence based on ourselves lashes out or shuts down. But, an identity and confidence in Christ wants to see glory go to God, not to self. A confident heart rooted in a firm foundation of identity in Christ will see people who could replace them as a reason to party, not panic. This truth can change how we serve one another. Basing our identity in how we see ourselves and what we do can crush us when we fail. God won’t fail. When we base our confidence and identity on God and His word, we will be blessed. 

We will thrive. 

“They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.”
Jeremiah‬ ‭17:8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Would you like to become brand new?

What exactly do I mean by “brand new?” No doubt you know this term in its worldly sense. We all long to drive off the lot in a brand new car (tell me you didn’t read that in the Price is Right voice.) We all dream about building that brand new home to raise a family in. Or, if you’re like me, you love that feeling of slipping on a brand new pair of shoes. 

One of the synonyms you’ll come across when searching this term and the one I think best describes how I’m going to use it is “pristine.” Merriam-Webster defines it as this: in its original condition; unspoiled; clean and fresh as if new; spotless. 

So when I speak of becoming brand new, think about becoming pristine. I’m talking about you, your spirit, the very essence of all that you are, the inner mash-up of soul, personality and all your life’s influence that combine to make up the person that is reading along here and now.

In life, we’re molded and shaped by our surrounding environment and that setting isn’t always life-giving. Maybe for you it was a chaotic home life with a void left by an absentee father. Or maybe you’ve found yourself like my daughter, just shy of seven years old and your mother was called home to heaven much earlier than expected. Many of us have something that has manifested inside our souls to create a hole we yearn to fill. Sex, drugs, pornography, alcohol, food, shopping, gossip and many other distractions are powerful tools that the enemy uses to get his hooks in you one way or another. In 1 Peter 5:8 it says, “...Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” Perhaps you’ve felt that in some way. I know I have. 

When God is not the center of your life, the enemy will use any possible piece of your life to gain a foothold. 

Sometimes, this will happen in a way that might take years or even decades for you to fully realize. As I grew into adulthood, some footholds in my life turned into strongholds. They stirred up a chaotic emptiness in my soul and I would search for anything to quiet the storm. The beginning of 1 Peter 5:8 says “Be alert and of sober mind...” I went a long time failing to do just that.

Beginning in my early 20’s, I lost myself in an opiate addiction that lasted nearly 15 years. When a hook like that snags you, the enemy takes hold and it can pull you down to depths you never imagined could exist. It can imprison you in a dark pit of despair where there’s barely a light to be found. It will cloud your vision, harden your heart, and steal your hope. It’s a suffocation so evil it will tear away the very fabric of your existence and rot away the sanctity of your marriage while morphing you into a failing father. But, here’s the beauty of our merciful and graceful Heavenly Father: there is no soul beyond restoration. No brokenness He can not mend. Don’t believe me?

Let me take you back a little: it’s Christmas 2018 and there I find myself in a jail cell...yet again. I was beginning to lose count of the arrests at that point. The gut-wrenching sickness you feel when you wake up on Christmas morning and, instead of hearing the sweet sound of your precious daughter’s excited voice, you hear the clanging of the cold, metal doors to your 8x10 cell. That’s a darkness I wish on no one. Shameful. Worthless. Depressed. Just pick a negative feeling and I am sure I felt it at that moment. Can’t get worse than that. 

But, here’s the thing about rock bottom: if you continue to give the enemy control of your life, he’ll just keep digging the hole deeper. There is no real bottom. The next day, December 26th, 2018, I awoke to that now all too familiar sound. Although I didn’t know it when waking, for better or worse this day would come to set the tone for the rest of my life. At 9:00am I was led to a small room and through a plexiglass window, I was told that my wife had passed away. In the middle of the night while sleeping peacefully, she left this life. She was 33 years old and my very best friend.

In the middle of all those circumstances, how did I wrap my head around it all? Well, I don’t know that I did. The memory of that day is a blur. One clear view through the midst of the fog is the face of a man who means the world to me. If you call Bold City Church your home, he’s your Lead Pastor. The words of Jason Masters hit home that day and still echo in my thoughts often. He told me that what I chose to do moving forward could change the course of my future family’s history. Generations could be changed and saved by the actions I took from that moment on. 

That night, after I climbed up to my bed on the top bunk, staring at my cinder block surroundings, I tried to collect myself and conjure up some kind of plan moving forward. Obviously, I needed some supernatural assistance. Nothing in this world was going to deliver me out of the depths I was in and to the heights I hoped to reach. I had searched everywhere to find it and it didn’t exist. I needed something more. My daughter deserved something more. 

So, I did what I should’ve done many times before. I asked God to help me and prayed for Him to give me an encouraging word. Here’s what He told me in that moment, “My son, I love you and I’m so sorry you’re here. We have two options, two stories you can write. The first is you go on trying to lead yourself and control your everyday life. Do that and when Reese is your age she’ll tell of the loss of her mother and a failed father. A childhood filled with missed opportunities and sadness. Or you can give me the reins, have faith, and trust me with everything you’ve got. Do that and Reese will still tell of a lost mother, but she’ll also tell of a redeemed father. One who stepped up and led her to a life full of joy and peace. She’ll tell of an unbreakable bond with her Daddy that not only molded and shaped her, but countless others as well. Let me work through you and let’s see what we can do together.” 

In that moment, He also reminded me of a scripture I first read in jail a couple years before. It’s James 1:12 and it says, “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that The Lord has promised to those who love him.” So I made up my mind to battle. I made up my mind that no matter how rocky or stormy the seas became, when He calls me out of the boat I’ll reach for His hand and trust Him fully. 

In the time since, instead of cowering in the fetal position and feeling pity for my situation and what my life had become, with God as my strength, I picked myself up and vowed to fight with every fiber of my being. From the deepest depths of my soul I would rage against the very darkness that once filled it. 

What’s my ultimate goal in sharing this with you? I simply want you to feel the freedom I now feel, too. Perhaps your story is different from mine, but you find yourself also missing something. Maybe you can’t even put your finger on it, but you feel it’s emptiness nevertheless. Whether you realize it or not, we’re immersed in spiritual warfare everyday of our lives. Remember 1 Peter 5:8? If you’ve felt Satan’s grip on you in any way; I’m sorry. I empathize with you and I love you. But now, it’s time to join me in the fight! 

How do I fight something I can’t always see, touch, or hear? Fortunately, God tells us how. 

 ”Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”
Ephesians 6:10-17

After reading that, maybe you find yourself thinking like I once did: How do I apply this to my everyday life in a practical way? Well, it’s simple enough. Make your secret place your top priority. Begin everyday in silence then worship, just you and God. Talk to Him. Ask Him things. Pray for revelation in your life. Pray for blessings over your family. Open your Bible, read it, and actually do what it’s telling you to do. Begin to practice all of that and your life will look radically different in the best way you could possibly imagine. Trust me, I know. 

Now, it’s time for you to get in the game. As I’ve learned all too well, this life can end in an instant. You must make the most of it. God has promises on your life and wants to take you to new heights! You’ve got this. Keep in mind, if Satan ever tries to remind you of the past from which you came, just stop and pray a verse I’ve often prayed Isaiah 43:18-19, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” 

Getting Up After a Season of Mourning

(Check out “Part 1 - A Season of Mourning” before you read this post.)

Last week, I talked all about allowing yourself to mourn your loss. Now, I want to talk about how to get back up after loss. By “getting up,” I mean simply picking your emotional (and sometimes physical) self up and getting back to the Father's business after grief. If you read part 1 last week, you know that loss is inevitable. Mourning and weeping are not a problem, there is a time and a season, though. So what does getting up from a season of mourning look like? 

Getting up from repentance.

Accept the Lord’s forgiveness and forgive yourself for the wrongs you have committed. Don’t allow unforgiveness of self to stifle what God wants to do through you.

• David did not forever live in the anguish of his sin. He repented to the Father and then got back to the Father’s business. In Psalm 51 he prayed, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you.” He not only asked for forgiveness but asked for joy and declared that he would teach others.

• After Peter denied Christ, we see in John 21:15-17 that Jesus reinstated him. Jesus shows us here that not only did he forgive Peter but he told Peter to get back to the Father’s business.

Getting up from the mourning of a loss.

Allow God to heal the brokenness from loss (loss of a loved one, a dream, a possession). Don’t allow the sorrows of life to keep you down and out from what God has for you. 

• 2 Samuel 12:20-25 “Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate. His attendants asked him, “Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!”He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.” Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him; and because the Lord loved him, he sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidiah.”

4 Things that come with getting up:

1. Peace

In our own strength it is difficult to go on when faced with the sorrows of life. But when we go to God, He brings peace. After David mourned, repented, and got back up God gave him Solomon (seen in 2 Samuel 12). Solomon’s name means “peace.” 

• 1 Peter 5:6-7 “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

• Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

• John 16 Jesus tells his disciples that they will weep and mourn, they will have grief, but their grieving will turn to joy, a joy that no one can take away. In verse 33 he says “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

2. Blessings

The Lord gave Solomon the name “Jedidiah.” Jedidiah means “blessing.” 
Luke 6:21 says “Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.”

3. Miracles

John 11:35-44 shows us that Lazarus was raised after Jesus got up from weeping. Jesus felt the weight of losing a friend and once we got up from mourning a miracle came.

4. Ministry (the Father’s business)

Ministry is feeding and taking care of the sheep. As we read earlier, in John 21 when Jesus reinstated Peter he told him to feed and take care of His sheep.

5. Salvation

After Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead John 11:45 says “Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, believed in him.” 

No matter what your processing looks like there will be a time to mourn and a time to dance. 

By “getting up” I mean cleaning yourself up and getting back to the Father's business. This does not mean that you now have no attachment to that which you have lost. It means you have allowed the incomprehensible peace of our God to overcome you. 

Other scripture on peace: 1 Peter 5:6-7, Philippians 4:6-7, John 16:33

Today I am 10 years sober! That's 3,650 days of walking in freedom! It's 87,600 hours of being able to choose life each and every single minute!

Can I be completely honest with y'all for a second? When I started this journey, I didn't think I could do it. In fact, back then I was so riddled with doubt that I relapsed three times before finally deciding that I had to do something different. At first, I looked at my recovery like it was a burden. Something that I had to do. Why was I so different? Why could other people seem to handle themselves and I couldn't? I could not see myself not ever being able to drink again.

At every turn, I was just waiting for the ball to drop, for the next time that I would fall flat on my face, yet again. Why? Because my identity had been stolen from me. I didn't know who I was. I didn't believe that I was capable of doing anything right. I built up so many walls because I felt like no one understood what I was going through or what I had already been through. I didn't feel worthy of grace or mercy or forgiveness. I blamed God for making me different. I couldn't see that He still loved me, even through the wreckage of my past.

What changed?

Jesus! The one thing I want people to know from my testimony is that there is absolutely no way I could have gotten this far without my faith. I had already proven to myself that I could not do it alone. I was full of self-doubt because I did not truly know who Jesus was.

He showed me that He died so I didn't have to. He showed me that He redeemed all the wrong I had done. He showed me that there are people who understand. And the best thing of all, he showed me that I am worthy of grace and my life does matter!

Has it been easy every step of the way? Absolutely not! Am I perfect now? Absolutely not! But Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Not some things y'all…all things. So when I face challenges or have a bad day or feel like I am not going to make it, Jesus is there to remind me that my strength does not come from others or the things that I do, it comes from Him.

Today, I don't have to look at my sobriety as an obligation, it's a right! A right that is restored to me every single day that I wake up and I am able to make my own decisions. I don't have to stay sober, I get to stay sober. I get to live, I get to have a choice, and I finally get to feel normal. Better than normal.

I am grateful for each and every person that God has put in my life to help me along the way.

If you want this kind of freedom, come visit me this Friday night at 6:00 PM at 13519 N Main Street for our very first Wayfinders meeting!

“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
… a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance” 

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 NIV

mourning noun (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

mourn·​ing | \ ˈmȯr-niŋ  \

Definition of mourning:

1. the act of sorrowing

2. a: an outward sign (such as black clothes or an armband) of grief for a person's death
   b: a period of time during which signs of grief are shown

---

Some time in 2019, during a Sunday morning worship set, I told our church congregation that I sensed they were in a season of mourning. I gave a brief summary of 2 Samuel 11 & 12 in the Bible and then told them that I felt their season of mourning was coming to an end. Little did I know, I was not only prophesying to them, but also to myself. 

Three passages that really stick out to me regarding this topic of mourning are 2 Samuel 12, Matthew 26 and John 11.

Right before 2 Samuel 12, in chapter 11, King David sleeps with another man’s wife, Bathsheba, and she becomes pregnant. To cover it up, he tries to have her husband, Uriah, come from battle to sleep with her. He refuses until the battle is over. So, David orders Uriah to be placed on the frontline of the battlefield where he is killed. Once Bathsheba’s time of mourning the loss her husband is over, David marries her and assumes his wrongdoing is covered. In 2 Samuel 12, the prophet Nathan comes for a visit and shows David the errors of his ways, telling him that the son born to him from Bathsheba will die. We see in 2 Samuel 12:15 that “David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth on the ground. The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them.” 

In Matthew 26, Jesus is with his disciples at the last supper. During the last supper, Jesus predicts that Peter will deny him three times. And sadly, we find Jesus’s prediction come true. “...Immediately a rooster crowed. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: ‘Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.’ And he went outside and wept bitterly.” Matthew 26:74-75

In John 11, Jesus finds out his friend Lazarus has become sick and died. John 11:31-34  says, “When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there. When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

These passages reveal to me three things that can bring about a season of mourning:

Repentance (noticeable in 2 Samuel 12 and Matthew 26)

• David repented when Nathan showed him his sin in sleeping with Bathsheba and sending Uriah to be killed. 2 Samuel chapter 12:13 says, “David said to Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord.”

• Peter feels the heavy weight of denying Christ in Matthew 26:75 where it states that he went outside and wept bitterly.

Loss (i.e. the loss of a loved one)

• In John 11, we see that “Jesus wept” when Lazurus died. He shows us that even while declaring the truth (He is the resurrection and the life) we still feel. Living in a fallen world will bring about pain. Even Jesus could not escape the sorrow that comes from physical death.

Unanswered prayers/Prayers answered in a way we don’t want or expect

• When David’s son was sick (in 2 Samuel 12) he did weep. He says in 2 Samuel 12:22 “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ 

The similarity between repentance and brokenness is that you have to be honest about where you are at. No matter what your processing looks like there must be a time to mourn AND a time to dance. We live in a fallen world, even Jesus had a time to weep (with Lazarus, in the garden, and I have a feeling there were other times as well). You have to be honest with yourself and honest with God. There will be and should be a time of mourning, a grieving period.  If you avoid mourning because you are afraid of the intensity of brokeness and weeping you may become numb to the intensity of joy and dancing.

I had no idea when I shared from 2 Samuel with the Sunday morning congregation in 2019 that my husband Bryan and I would just a few weeks later experience the pain of having a miscarriage. In the middle of it all I thought “Why would God give that word to me knowing what we were about to walkthrough?” Through prayer and processing, I realized that I was simply prophesying into my next season without knowing it. I was learning myself that seasons of mourning will come and we will have to walk through them.

A friend of mine, after mourning the loss of her father, put it this way: “Any time you go through a bad season and you actually rely on God, letting Him comfort you, it brings you to a new level of closeness that you never would have had if you kept going the way you were going.” Each time I have finally broken down and allowed myself to mourn, I have seen immense breakthrough. I have seen God the Father in a whole new light.

I encourage you to take a look at yourself. Have you allowed yourself to mourn your loss? Do you need to repent, allow yourself to weep or be broken before God over a loss (loss of a loved one, a dream, a possession)? If you have a tugging that you need to go through a season of mourning, take some time to process. Pray, meditate on the word, worship, and talk to someone (this can be a friend, pastor, leader or counselor). Sometimes you just need a good cry and that’s okay. 

[Part 2 - Getting Up After a Season of Mourning coming soon…]

“Let it work for you.” This was a phrase I heard often from the director of the women’s and children’s ministry that I served at during my internship in bible college. I was a twenty-something with a big heart to serve God combined with a truckload of attitude that had yet to be dealt with. I was working in a ministry whose purpose was to help women who had been caught in the grips of life-controlling behaviors and substance addiction be set free, so they could begin to walk in freedom and be able to be the women God had called them to be. Much of the teaching and training was on heart issues - like pride, envy, jealousy, deceit, anger, rebellion, etc. that lay at the root of their life-controlling problems. 

Our director was a straight shooter. She had a strong Jersey accent and didn’t have time for nonsense. She knew the power that the truth of God’s word held, and she wanted to see it activated in the lives of the women she served and led. She didn’t sugarcoat much and could see through excuses that the ladies made for not making important changes. Newsflash: she was consistent and would shoot straight to the staff and interns as well. Let’s face it, we all have issues and hurts that need to be healed. Some of us, more visible than others, but all of us need healing. I was also a straight shooter, but much of my shooting was through an undisciplined mouth who always had an opinion about everything. (I know, I’m still a work in progress.)

I struggled with God often and the environment of structured rules (because many of these women needed structure) caused my rebellious heart to want to speak out on every issue. I didn’t always use my words, but in my heart I would rage against ‘dumb rules’ and processes that didn’t make sense, seemed outdated, or I thought were irrelevant. I didn’t fully embrace the reality that God was using this time to expose the issues in my own heart. 

In almost every interaction I had with our director, whether it was one-on-one or in a group setting she would say things like: “that’s just your pride,” or “let it work for you” or “it only hurts because your flesh doesn’t want to die.”  I would get so irritated by the trite phrases that felt minimizing to the significant issues my heart would raise. Didn’t she care that changing your life hurt? Where was her compassion for my concerns? 

Hit Fast Forward

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 NLT

I’m now in my forties and if you’d have told me even two years ago that my life would look like it does now, I would laugh at you and say, “NOT A CHANCE!” Nothing in the last several years has turned out like I had planned. My path hasn’t been anything I predicted, and I’m currently doing things I said I would never do. Sure, I could blame it on a global pandemic, if I believed that what we see is all there is, but I believe that God is working something much deeper in my heart. I would guess you believe that as well. 

I have heard the phrase “Paula, let it work for you,” in a thick Jersey accent echo in my heart more times than I can count these last few months. I know that Holy Spirit has brought it back to remembrance because He is reminding me of a truth and promise that He is working all things (even the stuff I hate, would never choose on a normal day, and the disappointments) together for my good.  Good rarely feels good, but it is beneficial. 

I looked up the word “beneficial” and this is what I found: favorable or advantageous; resulting in good.

Resulting in good….meaning the starting point may not be good. The middle may not feel good. However, the end result will be good. This reminds me that we’re in a process of growth. Whether we are starting something new, navigating challenges or needed changes, transitioning from something or facing what seems insurmountable, we can be sure of this: it is working for our good. 

So what is our response? Let it work for you. What seems like it’s working against you, what feels wrong because it hurts, the season you’re in that you hate, LET IT WORK FOR YOU. Ask God what it is that He is trying to remove, resurrect, or begin in you that feels like it is against you. Reaffirm your confidence in Him that He is for you, and then, let Him do his work in you. Embrace it. Trust His process. Let him root out the things in your heart that need to go to make more room for Him.

It’s going to be good. You can trust Him. If nothing else, You will gain more of Him which is the goal anyway. So hear me, in a thick Jersey accent say to your heart, “Friend, let it work for you.”

We’re kicking off a new season of CityGroups at Bold City Church! This is one of the most exciting times of the year to us because it gives people who haven’t yet had a chance to realize the power of being in life-giving community centered around Jesus the opportunity to do just that. So here’s 5 ways, whether you attend Bold City Church or not, I think you can truly get the most out of your church small group.

Face your fear. It could be of meeting new people, going to a stranger’s home, or being real with people you are not sure you can even trust. Regardless, it’s going to take faith to face these fears. If you find yourself getting anxious on the way, just stop and pray this: “Holy Spirit, I need supernatural faith right now. Your word tells me I need community. Give me the faith to be obedient to that.”

Be consistent. No matter what kind of growth a person seeks, consistency is the key to it actually happening. You can’t get strong by going to the gym occasionally. We didn’t get a good education just going to school every now and then. We won’t grow as a disciple only showing up to CityGroup when it’s convenient. If you really want to grow spiritually, you need a family to help with that. CityGroup is that family. If it matters to us, we will make time for it. 

Leave your mask* at home. In other words, be REAL. Take a chance, show up, and be vulnerable. People are drawn to authenticity. We can tell when people are being real! Someone in your group could have already battled what you are currently facing. Your healing could be on the other side of your honesty in CityGroup. Our group leaders are trained and called. They are there to help you become more like Christ and they are prepared to help protect your vulnerability. The closest and strongest groups are the ones who have been vulnerable with each other.  
(*Metaphorical mask - if you’re immunocompromised or feel especially vulnerable to COVID, by all means wear your face mask to CityGroup if you want. It’ll just make it a little harder to eat all that good food!) 

Join in on the prayers. Don’t just sit on the sideline when the CityGroup prays, jump in. If you’ve never prayed out loud or in front of people, you might be wondering how to pray! CityGroup is the perfect, safe place to learn! 

Spend time together outside of group night. Exchange numbers with a brother or sister in CityGroup. Fellowship together, encourage them with a text or call, pray for them throughout the week. This helps strengthen relationships and it helps the group grow quicker. When people really start caring about each other, the prayers get powerful, the word impacts us deeper, accountability strengthens our walk, and the food gets better! Amen! 

Jesus is coming back for a family, may we be found fellowshipping and growing together! 

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”
Hebrews 10:24-25 NLT

If you’re thinking to yourself, “This all sounds great! This is something I need in my life. Sign me up,” then head over to our website to sign up for a CityGroup near you! You just might meet the family you’ve been waiting on all along.

The moment I sat down, I knew it was a mistake. When they buckled me in, my fears confirmed it! Then I looked at the smiling faces of my son and daughter next to me and knew I could do it. Do what? As the rollercoaster ride began, my heart dropped as I thought about all the things that could go wrong. All the “what ifs” overwhelmed me. What if the seatbelt unlocks and I fall out? Or the track comes apart and we crash? Or a bomb explodes? Obviously, none of it happened. In spite of the twists and turns, ups and down, and screaming (lots of screaming), we stayed on track, finished the ride, and had a blast. 

What unknowns are you facing today? Is it something to do with your health, finances, school or family? Is it the aftermath of a death, a divorce, or a broken heart that just won’t heal? Maybe you just got married or started a new job. Stepping into the unknown is scary, unsettling, and intimidating. It stirs up all kinds of insecurities and inabilities because the unknown is so…well…uncertain, unfamiliar, uncontrollable, unexpected, and uncomfortable. 

The unknown will isolate, manipulate, & dominate your mindset if you let it. It will paralyze you and feed your fears. I’ve learned that the unknown amplifies the why’s, how’s, when’s, and where’s. 

But, the key to conquering our unknowns? It’s in the Who. 

Overcoming the unknown and thriving in your current season is possible when you place your hope in the One who knows all things and can make all things work out. (Romans 8:28) Our trust is not in how it will work out, but in Who has worked it out. 

And in the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
Matthew 14: 25-31

Here we see the disciples in the middle of a storm, weary, scared, and overwhelmed, and they think they see Jesus walking on the water towards them. Peter says, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water. [Jesus] said, Come. So, Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus.” He trusted who more than what. Because Jesus said “Come,” Peter stepped out of the boat, past his unknown, and into the certainty and sovereignty of Jesus. 

Jesus comes to them in their storm. He calms their hearts before He calms their storm. Conquering our unknown comes in capturing the heartbeat of Jesus and trusting him with each step we take. It was walking on the Word from God that made walking on the water even possible. 

Simply put, we must trust the Father and obey what we know. So, what do we know? We know that God tells us to pray, worship, learn, serve, give, forgive, encourage, and love others. God sees the bigger picture, and like Jesus did, He invites us to trust him through the storm. The Bible is full of people who conquered their unknowns by trusting Who and obeying what they know to be true. 

• King Jehoshaphat prayed, “We don’t know what to do but our eyes are on you [Lord],” 2 Chronicles 20:2,12.

• As a teenager exiled and put to work for the king, Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the king’s food and to remain faithful to God’s ways, especially with prayer, Daniel 1:8; 6:13,21.

• Abraham demonstrated unwavering faith when God told him to leave his homeland (not knowing where to go) and that he would be the father of many nations at the age of 100, Romans 4:20. 

• Ruth faced her unknown with a dangerous step of faith in following Naomi back to Jerusalem, Ruth 1:16. 

We could talk about Esther, Joseph and Mary, and Paul, with all their hardships. To add to that, history is replete with more examples of men and women who conquered their unknowns; George Washington Carver, Abraham Lincoln, Amelia Earnhardt, Desmond Doss, Anne Frank, and Dr. Mae Jemison. 

As we each walk into our own unknown, here are some other things that we do know: 

• I will never leave you nor forsake you, Deuteronomy 31:6; Hebrews 13:5. 

• Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest, Matthew 11:28. 

• And his peace will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, Philippians 4:7. 

• Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it, Philippians 1:6. 

• Do not be weary in doing good, for in due season you will reap a harvest, if you do not give up, Galatians 6:9.

What unknowns are you facing? You can capture the heartbeat of Jesus by trusting and obeying God even in your season of unknown. Your victory is on the other side of your obedience. You’ve come so far, and God has never lost a battle. You don’t have to worry about the unknown when you have a relationship with the One who knows it all. Stop trying to control everything and take the next step with God. Can you hear it? Jesus is calling to you, “Come,” just as you are. 

Recommended listening: As You Are, Life Church 

We live in a time when our thoughts and opinions can be shared throughout the world at a moment’s notice, with little to no accountability. Because of that, it can be easy to forget that we will all have to give an account for every empty word we have ever spoken.

“But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” 
Matthew 12:36-37

When I consider the fact that John 1:1 describes Jesus as the Word, it convicts me of how many times I have used my words judgmentally, hastily, sarcastically, and even carelessly.

Some of us spend a lot of time considering the right words to say, the right tone to use, and the right time to speak. God’s Word tells us that it is not only what we say and how we say it that are important. What is equally important is what we choose not to say.

“Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.”
Ecclesiastes 5:2

I have often been guilty of being very sarcastic with my words. I have frequently said things without thinking about how another person will perceive it. Unfortunately, that has led me to make some careless statements in haste without genuinely considering how they would be received.

On their own, these statements may seem harmless and well-intentioned:

• God won’t give you more than you can handle.

• God does everything for a reason.

• God is in control.

But to the person who was just diagnosed with cancer...to the person who is planning funeral arrangements for their spouse, child, or parent...to the person who has miscarried for the 3rd time…to the person who has just lost their job…

…these well-intentioned words can be heartbreaking and devastating.

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Proverbs 12:18

You see, God always speaks purposefully into our lives. He doesn’t waste words or speak without reason. Each and every word in scripture has significance and power. Therefore, we must never underestimate the power of our own words which can be life-draining rather than life-giving.

Because God is our Comforter, and we are created in His image, we naturally have a strong desire to comfort others. For many of us, that comfort involves speaking words of encouragement. However, when people are in the midst of tragedy and experiencing overwhelming pain, it can often be our Spirit-led actions that speak louder than our words.

Jesus used His words to bring life and hope to people. When there were no words to say, Jesus listened. He wept with those who wept, served those who were hungry, ate with those who were rejected and persecuted, and healed those who were broken.

We must follow the example of Jesus. How can you breathe life into the people around you with silence, by ministering with a hug, a listening ear, a helping hand, or simply your reassuring presence?