Would you like to become brand new?
What exactly do I mean by “brand new?” No doubt you know this term in its worldly sense. We all long to drive off the lot in a brand new car (tell me you didn’t read that in the Price is Right voice.) We all dream about building that brand new home to raise a family in. Or, if you’re like me, you love that feeling of slipping on a brand new pair of shoes.
One of the synonyms you’ll come across when searching this term and the one I think best describes how I’m going to use it is “pristine.” Merriam-Webster defines it as this: in its original condition; unspoiled; clean and fresh as if new; spotless.
So when I speak of becoming brand new, think about becoming pristine. I’m talking about you, your spirit, the very essence of all that you are, the inner mash-up of soul, personality and all your life’s influence that combine to make up the person that is reading along here and now.
In life, we’re molded and shaped by our surrounding environment and that setting isn’t always life-giving. Maybe for you it was a chaotic home life with a void left by an absentee father. Or maybe you’ve found yourself like my daughter, just shy of seven years old and your mother was called home to heaven much earlier than expected. Many of us have something that has manifested inside our souls to create a hole we yearn to fill. Sex, drugs, pornography, alcohol, food, shopping, gossip and many other distractions are powerful tools that the enemy uses to get his hooks in you one way or another. In 1 Peter 5:8 it says, “...Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” Perhaps you’ve felt that in some way. I know I have.
When God is not the center of your life, the enemy will use any possible piece of your life to gain a foothold.
Sometimes, this will happen in a way that might take years or even decades for you to fully realize. As I grew into adulthood, some footholds in my life turned into strongholds. They stirred up a chaotic emptiness in my soul and I would search for anything to quiet the storm. The beginning of 1 Peter 5:8 says “Be alert and of sober mind...” I went a long time failing to do just that.
Beginning in my early 20’s, I lost myself in an opiate addiction that lasted nearly 15 years. When a hook like that snags you, the enemy takes hold and it can pull you down to depths you never imagined could exist. It can imprison you in a dark pit of despair where there’s barely a light to be found. It will cloud your vision, harden your heart, and steal your hope. It’s a suffocation so evil it will tear away the very fabric of your existence and rot away the sanctity of your marriage while morphing you into a failing father. But, here’s the beauty of our merciful and graceful Heavenly Father: there is no soul beyond restoration. No brokenness He can not mend. Don’t believe me?
Let me take you back a little: it’s Christmas 2018 and there I find myself in a jail cell...yet again. I was beginning to lose count of the arrests at that point. The gut-wrenching sickness you feel when you wake up on Christmas morning and, instead of hearing the sweet sound of your precious daughter’s excited voice, you hear the clanging of the cold, metal doors to your 8x10 cell. That’s a darkness I wish on no one. Shameful. Worthless. Depressed. Just pick a negative feeling and I am sure I felt it at that moment. Can’t get worse than that.
But, here’s the thing about rock bottom: if you continue to give the enemy control of your life, he’ll just keep digging the hole deeper. There is no real bottom. The next day, December 26th, 2018, I awoke to that now all too familiar sound. Although I didn’t know it when waking, for better or worse this day would come to set the tone for the rest of my life. At 9:00am I was led to a small room and through a plexiglass window, I was told that my wife had passed away. In the middle of the night while sleeping peacefully, she left this life. She was 33 years old and my very best friend.
In the middle of all those circumstances, how did I wrap my head around it all? Well, I don’t know that I did. The memory of that day is a blur. One clear view through the midst of the fog is the face of a man who means the world to me. If you call Bold City Church your home, he’s your Lead Pastor. The words of Jason Masters hit home that day and still echo in my thoughts often. He told me that what I chose to do moving forward could change the course of my future family’s history. Generations could be changed and saved by the actions I took from that moment on.
That night, after I climbed up to my bed on the top bunk, staring at my cinder block surroundings, I tried to collect myself and conjure up some kind of plan moving forward. Obviously, I needed some supernatural assistance. Nothing in this world was going to deliver me out of the depths I was in and to the heights I hoped to reach. I had searched everywhere to find it and it didn’t exist. I needed something more. My daughter deserved something more.
So, I did what I should’ve done many times before. I asked God to help me and prayed for Him to give me an encouraging word. Here’s what He told me in that moment, “My son, I love you and I’m so sorry you’re here. We have two options, two stories you can write. The first is you go on trying to lead yourself and control your everyday life. Do that and when Reese is your age she’ll tell of the loss of her mother and a failed father. A childhood filled with missed opportunities and sadness. Or you can give me the reins, have faith, and trust me with everything you’ve got. Do that and Reese will still tell of a lost mother, but she’ll also tell of a redeemed father. One who stepped up and led her to a life full of joy and peace. She’ll tell of an unbreakable bond with her Daddy that not only molded and shaped her, but countless others as well. Let me work through you and let’s see what we can do together.”
In that moment, He also reminded me of a scripture I first read in jail a couple years before. It’s James 1:12 and it says, “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that The Lord has promised to those who love him.” So I made up my mind to battle. I made up my mind that no matter how rocky or stormy the seas became, when He calls me out of the boat I’ll reach for His hand and trust Him fully.
In the time since, instead of cowering in the fetal position and feeling pity for my situation and what my life had become, with God as my strength, I picked myself up and vowed to fight with every fiber of my being. From the deepest depths of my soul I would rage against the very darkness that once filled it.
What’s my ultimate goal in sharing this with you? I simply want you to feel the freedom I now feel, too. Perhaps your story is different from mine, but you find yourself also missing something. Maybe you can’t even put your finger on it, but you feel it’s emptiness nevertheless. Whether you realize it or not, we’re immersed in spiritual warfare everyday of our lives. Remember 1 Peter 5:8? If you’ve felt Satan’s grip on you in any way; I’m sorry. I empathize with you and I love you. But now, it’s time to join me in the fight!
How do I fight something I can’t always see, touch, or hear? Fortunately, God tells us how.
”Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”
Ephesians 6:10-17
After reading that, maybe you find yourself thinking like I once did: How do I apply this to my everyday life in a practical way? Well, it’s simple enough. Make your secret place your top priority. Begin everyday in silence then worship, just you and God. Talk to Him. Ask Him things. Pray for revelation in your life. Pray for blessings over your family. Open your Bible, read it, and actually do what it’s telling you to do. Begin to practice all of that and your life will look radically different in the best way you could possibly imagine. Trust me, I know.
Now, it’s time for you to get in the game. As I’ve learned all too well, this life can end in an instant. You must make the most of it. God has promises on your life and wants to take you to new heights! You’ve got this. Keep in mind, if Satan ever tries to remind you of the past from which you came, just stop and pray a verse I’ve often prayed Isaiah 43:18-19, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
