Getting Up After a Season of Mourning

(Check out “Part 1 - A Season of Mourning” before you read this post.)

Last week, I talked all about allowing yourself to mourn your loss. Now, I want to talk about how to get back up after loss. By “getting up,” I mean simply picking your emotional (and sometimes physical) self up and getting back to the Father's business after grief. If you read part 1 last week, you know that loss is inevitable. Mourning and weeping are not a problem, there is a time and a season, though. So what does getting up from a season of mourning look like? 

Getting up from repentance.

Accept the Lord’s forgiveness and forgive yourself for the wrongs you have committed. Don’t allow unforgiveness of self to stifle what God wants to do through you.

• David did not forever live in the anguish of his sin. He repented to the Father and then got back to the Father’s business. In Psalm 51 he prayed, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you.” He not only asked for forgiveness but asked for joy and declared that he would teach others.

• After Peter denied Christ, we see in John 21:15-17 that Jesus reinstated him. Jesus shows us here that not only did he forgive Peter but he told Peter to get back to the Father’s business.

Getting up from the mourning of a loss.

Allow God to heal the brokenness from loss (loss of a loved one, a dream, a possession). Don’t allow the sorrows of life to keep you down and out from what God has for you. 

• 2 Samuel 12:20-25 “Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate. His attendants asked him, “Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!”He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.” Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him; and because the Lord loved him, he sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidiah.”

4 Things that come with getting up:

1. Peace

In our own strength it is difficult to go on when faced with the sorrows of life. But when we go to God, He brings peace. After David mourned, repented, and got back up God gave him Solomon (seen in 2 Samuel 12). Solomon’s name means “peace.” 

• 1 Peter 5:6-7 “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

• Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

• John 16 Jesus tells his disciples that they will weep and mourn, they will have grief, but their grieving will turn to joy, a joy that no one can take away. In verse 33 he says “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

2. Blessings

The Lord gave Solomon the name “Jedidiah.” Jedidiah means “blessing.” 
Luke 6:21 says “Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.”

3. Miracles

John 11:35-44 shows us that Lazarus was raised after Jesus got up from weeping. Jesus felt the weight of losing a friend and once we got up from mourning a miracle came.

4. Ministry (the Father’s business)

Ministry is feeding and taking care of the sheep. As we read earlier, in John 21 when Jesus reinstated Peter he told him to feed and take care of His sheep.

5. Salvation

After Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead John 11:45 says “Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, believed in him.” 

No matter what your processing looks like there will be a time to mourn and a time to dance. 

By “getting up” I mean cleaning yourself up and getting back to the Father's business. This does not mean that you now have no attachment to that which you have lost. It means you have allowed the incomprehensible peace of our God to overcome you. 

Other scripture on peace: 1 Peter 5:6-7, Philippians 4:6-7, John 16:33

“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
… a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance” 

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 NIV

mourning noun (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

mourn·​ing | \ ˈmȯr-niŋ  \

Definition of mourning:

1. the act of sorrowing

2. a: an outward sign (such as black clothes or an armband) of grief for a person's death
   b: a period of time during which signs of grief are shown

---

Some time in 2019, during a Sunday morning worship set, I told our church congregation that I sensed they were in a season of mourning. I gave a brief summary of 2 Samuel 11 & 12 in the Bible and then told them that I felt their season of mourning was coming to an end. Little did I know, I was not only prophesying to them, but also to myself. 

Three passages that really stick out to me regarding this topic of mourning are 2 Samuel 12, Matthew 26 and John 11.

Right before 2 Samuel 12, in chapter 11, King David sleeps with another man’s wife, Bathsheba, and she becomes pregnant. To cover it up, he tries to have her husband, Uriah, come from battle to sleep with her. He refuses until the battle is over. So, David orders Uriah to be placed on the frontline of the battlefield where he is killed. Once Bathsheba’s time of mourning the loss her husband is over, David marries her and assumes his wrongdoing is covered. In 2 Samuel 12, the prophet Nathan comes for a visit and shows David the errors of his ways, telling him that the son born to him from Bathsheba will die. We see in 2 Samuel 12:15 that “David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth on the ground. The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them.” 

In Matthew 26, Jesus is with his disciples at the last supper. During the last supper, Jesus predicts that Peter will deny him three times. And sadly, we find Jesus’s prediction come true. “...Immediately a rooster crowed. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: ‘Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.’ And he went outside and wept bitterly.” Matthew 26:74-75

In John 11, Jesus finds out his friend Lazarus has become sick and died. John 11:31-34  says, “When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there. When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

These passages reveal to me three things that can bring about a season of mourning:

Repentance (noticeable in 2 Samuel 12 and Matthew 26)

• David repented when Nathan showed him his sin in sleeping with Bathsheba and sending Uriah to be killed. 2 Samuel chapter 12:13 says, “David said to Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord.”

• Peter feels the heavy weight of denying Christ in Matthew 26:75 where it states that he went outside and wept bitterly.

Loss (i.e. the loss of a loved one)

• In John 11, we see that “Jesus wept” when Lazurus died. He shows us that even while declaring the truth (He is the resurrection and the life) we still feel. Living in a fallen world will bring about pain. Even Jesus could not escape the sorrow that comes from physical death.

Unanswered prayers/Prayers answered in a way we don’t want or expect

• When David’s son was sick (in 2 Samuel 12) he did weep. He says in 2 Samuel 12:22 “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ 

The similarity between repentance and brokenness is that you have to be honest about where you are at. No matter what your processing looks like there must be a time to mourn AND a time to dance. We live in a fallen world, even Jesus had a time to weep (with Lazarus, in the garden, and I have a feeling there were other times as well). You have to be honest with yourself and honest with God. There will be and should be a time of mourning, a grieving period.  If you avoid mourning because you are afraid of the intensity of brokeness and weeping you may become numb to the intensity of joy and dancing.

I had no idea when I shared from 2 Samuel with the Sunday morning congregation in 2019 that my husband Bryan and I would just a few weeks later experience the pain of having a miscarriage. In the middle of it all I thought “Why would God give that word to me knowing what we were about to walkthrough?” Through prayer and processing, I realized that I was simply prophesying into my next season without knowing it. I was learning myself that seasons of mourning will come and we will have to walk through them.

A friend of mine, after mourning the loss of her father, put it this way: “Any time you go through a bad season and you actually rely on God, letting Him comfort you, it brings you to a new level of closeness that you never would have had if you kept going the way you were going.” Each time I have finally broken down and allowed myself to mourn, I have seen immense breakthrough. I have seen God the Father in a whole new light.

I encourage you to take a look at yourself. Have you allowed yourself to mourn your loss? Do you need to repent, allow yourself to weep or be broken before God over a loss (loss of a loved one, a dream, a possession)? If you have a tugging that you need to go through a season of mourning, take some time to process. Pray, meditate on the word, worship, and talk to someone (this can be a friend, pastor, leader or counselor). Sometimes you just need a good cry and that’s okay. 

[Part 2 - Getting Up After a Season of Mourning coming soon…]

We’re kicking off a new season of CityGroups at Bold City Church! This is one of the most exciting times of the year to us because it gives people who haven’t yet had a chance to realize the power of being in life-giving community centered around Jesus the opportunity to do just that. So here’s 5 ways, whether you attend Bold City Church or not, I think you can truly get the most out of your church small group.

Face your fear. It could be of meeting new people, going to a stranger’s home, or being real with people you are not sure you can even trust. Regardless, it’s going to take faith to face these fears. If you find yourself getting anxious on the way, just stop and pray this: “Holy Spirit, I need supernatural faith right now. Your word tells me I need community. Give me the faith to be obedient to that.”

Be consistent. No matter what kind of growth a person seeks, consistency is the key to it actually happening. You can’t get strong by going to the gym occasionally. We didn’t get a good education just going to school every now and then. We won’t grow as a disciple only showing up to CityGroup when it’s convenient. If you really want to grow spiritually, you need a family to help with that. CityGroup is that family. If it matters to us, we will make time for it. 

Leave your mask* at home. In other words, be REAL. Take a chance, show up, and be vulnerable. People are drawn to authenticity. We can tell when people are being real! Someone in your group could have already battled what you are currently facing. Your healing could be on the other side of your honesty in CityGroup. Our group leaders are trained and called. They are there to help you become more like Christ and they are prepared to help protect your vulnerability. The closest and strongest groups are the ones who have been vulnerable with each other.  
(*Metaphorical mask - if you’re immunocompromised or feel especially vulnerable to COVID, by all means wear your face mask to CityGroup if you want. It’ll just make it a little harder to eat all that good food!) 

Join in on the prayers. Don’t just sit on the sideline when the CityGroup prays, jump in. If you’ve never prayed out loud or in front of people, you might be wondering how to pray! CityGroup is the perfect, safe place to learn! 

Spend time together outside of group night. Exchange numbers with a brother or sister in CityGroup. Fellowship together, encourage them with a text or call, pray for them throughout the week. This helps strengthen relationships and it helps the group grow quicker. When people really start caring about each other, the prayers get powerful, the word impacts us deeper, accountability strengthens our walk, and the food gets better! Amen! 

Jesus is coming back for a family, may we be found fellowshipping and growing together! 

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”
Hebrews 10:24-25 NLT

If you’re thinking to yourself, “This all sounds great! This is something I need in my life. Sign me up,” then head over to our website to sign up for a CityGroup near you! You just might meet the family you’ve been waiting on all along.

May God, the source of hope, fill you with all joy and peace by means of your faith in him, so that your hope will continue to grow by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13 (GNT)

Hope isn’t just wishful thinking -  it’s confident expectation. I don’t know about you but I EXPECT TO SEE THE LORD MOVE this week! I believe the Kingdom of God is still advancing, no matter what happens here on election day or anywhere else. 

Remember, hope comes from the Lord - not from a political candidate, not from policy, and not from anything else for that matter! The Bible says that God is our source of hope. Therefore, I place my hope in Him alone. No matter who wins today, no matter what happens, I expect to continue to see the Kingdom of God advance!

Here are two good signs that your hope is growing in these days: 

1. You are filled with JOY. Joy comes when we delight ourselves in the presence of the Lord. To be filled with joy means it runs over. If we are filled with joy, we can’t contain it. So, others around us will notice it and even be impacted by it. The Bible tells us the joy of the Lord is our strength! Come on! If you are excited about the presence of God today, I bet your hope is growing!

2. You are filled with PEACE. Peace is the ability to rest and fellowship in the middle of a war. It has nothing to do with the absence of a battle and everything to do with trust in God in it. For believers, peace is remembering that the battle isn’t ours, but rather His! And I have good news, He’s never lost a battle. If you find yourself walking in peace during these uncertain times, I bet your hope is growing!

The Bible also tells us that hope deferred makes the heart sick. Feel sick living in days like these? There is hope. Here are three things you need to do today to get your hopes up:

1. Pray: Be honest with God about how you feel. Repent for focusing more on the problem than the Problem Solver. Then ask God, more specifically, Holy Spirit, the source of hope, to fill you with joy and peace. 

2. Worship: Begin to sing worship songs… out loud! Turn the tunes on and begin to love on God. Give Him your undivided attention and watch your hope grow. Put on a song that you love to sing to the Lord. I’m listening to “Get Your Hopes Up” by Josh Baldwin while I’m writing this. 

3. Find a scripture and meditate on it. Try to memorize it. The enemy will plant lies in your mind in an attempt to make you hopeless. The only way to combat a lie is with a truth. His word is the truth! Romans 15:13 is a pretty good one. So is Hebrews 6:19, Jeremiah 29:11, and a whole bunch more! You go take a look for yourself. 

Father, I thank you for being our source of hope today and every day! Holy Spirit, help us to get our HOPES UP, filling us with peace and joy today. No matter what happens, your kingdom shall continue to advance!