How to Honor The Dishonorable
What does the word “honor” mean in our culture today? If you’re perusing Facebook, Instagram, TikTok or whatever the latest social media platform is, it doesn’t seem like honor means much, or anything at all, really. Sadly, in our world today, honoring someone that you disagree with isn’t our natural response because the two don’t naturally co-exist in our minds. Just like I’m still unable to rub my belly and pat my head at the same time, so many people in our world today struggle to have a civil conversation with someone with whom they don’t see eye to eye. They don’t understand how to honor despite a difference of opinions.
There’s a story in the Bible that I’m always drawn to. Like so many of the stories about Jesus, it has so many layers and many things we can learn from it, so I find myself here regularly. This time around, I found three things that I believe can and will help each and every single one of us grow and walk in honor daily. In Luke 7:36, Jesus had been invited to a dinner at the home of a religious leader. During the dinner, we see an immoral woman come in and begin to kiss the feet of Jesus, wash them with her tears, dry them with her hair, and pour out an alabaster jar of perfume on his head and feet. The man who was hosting the dinner (a religious leader, mind you) thought to himself (remember, I’m paraphrasing here), “Man, if this joker really is who he claims to be, there is no way he would let that woman touch him.” Jesus of course goes on to do His Jesus things…giving out wisdom that honestly feels like a kick in the teeth. But, I want to focus on His words starting in verse 44:
Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet,but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet.
Luke 7:44-46
Here are the three things I noticed in the words that Jesus speaks that we can use today to help us show honor:
BE HUMBLE. Verse 38 in this story actually says the woman placed herself behind Jesus. She was not only behind him but she positioned herself at His feet. This shows us a posture of humility. We have to posture ourselves in a place of humility if we are to honor others and follow the example of Jesus. If we stand in a position of pride, viewing ourselves as higher than others, we’ll never be able to honor others, as we will view them as beneath us. Romans 12:10 says that we are called to “Honor one another above yourselves.”
WATCH YOUR LIPS. Jesus pointed out to the religious leader that He was not given a kiss when he entered the home, despite it being the custom in those times. The woman, however, had not stopped kissing his feet since she entered the home. This is where we have to ask ourselves, what are we doing with our lips? Are we using our words to edify and build up those around us? The woman used hers to show affection and love, while Simon the Pharisee used his to judge Jesus.
ACKNOWLEDGE THE ANOINTING. Jesus states that Simon not only disregarded the custom of giving Jesus a kiss, but he also failed to follow through with anointing his head with oil. However, the woman not only did this by pouring oil on the head of Jesus (as told in another Gospel), but she also covered His feet with it. When you choose to honor someone (note that honor is a choice), you are choosing to acknowledge the anointing and calling on their life.
Alright, so I know what some of you might be thinking at this point: “Yeah, but that’s Jesus. I can honor Jesus. But my jerk coworker or my mother-in-law or that idiot on Facebook that is always spewing out his political views? Nope, I can’t do that.”
So how do you honor the dishonorable? The first step that has to be taken is realizing that honor is about what you decide, not what they deserve. Aren’t you thankful that God didn’t give us what we deserved? That’s called mercy. Not only that, but God gave us what we didn’t deserve. That’s called grace.
The definition of honor is to value something. When you start to treat something or someone as if it is common, you’re actually dishonoring them. This means that the level of honor you give is determined by the amount of value that you perceive. We have to begin to see everyone (including that co-worker or that family member or even that guy on Facebook) as valuable. Why? Because God sees them as valuable - so valuable in fact that He sent Jesus to die the death that we all deserved. So when we choose to honor others (even the dishonorable), we are choosing to honor God. I challenge you to go out today and freely give honor. Don’t make others earn it. As we walk in this, we will become fluent in the language of honor. And as we do, I truly believe that the God we serve will honor us in return.